Missed You, Sue!

You get a little extra tonight. I had this interesting conversation with Sue, about the differences between personalities. I was thinking about Girls' Weekend, and how it seemed like we didn't do as much talking as we have in times past. I think Sue is somewhat the life of the party, in the sense of being able to get us talking more deeply, digging past the casual, surface stuff, and getting down to the nitty gritty.

My personality tends to be reserved, to err on the side of caution. I'll be curious about people, but be afraid I'll start poking around where I'm not wanted, so I'm not able to form very close, intimate friendships with people, even though I would really like to. I offend less people than if I were more outgoing, but I have less friends, too, and probably do less good in the world, not knowing what people are really feeling and thinking. I feel like, socially, I have too much fear. I think about people all the time, wishing I could be of help, but too shy to put myself out there. I think I would obsess about what I said, and what the other person thought. I'm trying to come out of my shell more, but it's a long, slow process.

I'm sure Sue could say all that more eloquently. When she writes, she makes her point so well. Frankly, it makes me depressed sometimes, and a little jealous (sorry, sis.) It's ironic, thinking about my own writing. I studied English, and wrote a gazillion papers in college, but I really hate my writing. It makes me giggle to say this, 'cause it sounds kinda nuts, but I have a ton of imaginary friends and stories in my head. I'll mull over something for a few days, then finally let it go when I get bored with it. But I never write anything, because to me, I sound so unpolished and stupid when I write, and just basically boring. I have funny little conversations with myself sometimes, with my imaginary characters. I'll be cooking, or doing something mundane, and I'll say a sentence or phrase outloud from my thoughts, and Zen will say, "What are you talking about?" I have to tell him, "Never mind, just having one of my imaginary conversations again." I once read Terry Brooks' non-fiction work about his process of writing, and when I read about this weird thing he has going on, of imaginary people and places he visits in his head, I thought, "Oh. My. Word. That's me!!!" I'm a weirdo too, not successful or famous, just a weirdo. See, don't I sound like I'm 12, or something. Ughhh!

But, if nothing else, I can be a prolific blogger. Boring sometimes, but prolific.

A few last notes on Girls' Weekend:

Pics I wish I'd taken this weekend:
1. A group shot of all of us Friday night. I should take a tripod next time.
2. A wide shot of us watching Twilight.
3. Jenn and all her pets.
4. Jenn's whole scrapbook, which I think is awesome. Jenn, you have a wonderful sense of space and design. If you feel up to it, take quick pics of all the pages, burn them to a disk, and mail it to me. It's just the kind of style I'd like to emulate.
5. Cruising the aisles at Pebbles.

At Thanksgiving, it seems like we got more scrapbooking done than we did this weekend. Any suggestions? Maybe we could designate a project, like a mini-scrapbook we could all do in a few hours, then work on our own stuff, too. But then, maybe that was just me, I should have brought one specific project, instead of practically everything I own. Spending all Saturday morning blogging didn't help, either, I'm sure. And do we want to start planning the next weekend, or is that too far off? Speaking of which, what are we doing for Family Reunion?

End Post #48, 2009