Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

I'm trying to be positive today, really. It seems somehow sacrilegious to spout off about my problems, in the wake of Pres. Hinckley's passing Sunday night, so I'll save my issues for another day. I'm not going to say a lot about him, because I think Susie said it all, and said it best in her post Farewell. He was a wonderful man, a warm and loving Grandfather figure for me personally, and I only wish I could be in heaven to see his homecoming. I bet it was spectacular, and very moving.

Little Monkeybug!!!!!!!!!!!

There are times in a young child's life when they mess up so bad, or make a mess so bad, that they can't possibly fix it themselves, and there's just no way to punish them sufficiently, at least not without major damage. So, the only option is to pass out some token discipline, and then just help them clean up their mess. There's something profound in that isn't there?

Behold, Connor's mess earlier tonight. He took over 20 buckets of Perler beads, and dumped every singe one all over the floor. We picked up thousands and thousands of beads, and we didn't even bother sorting them. Sue, remember the big gallon-size ziploc bag of miscellaneous beads I gave to you because I was tired of sorting beads? Oh, well, so much for that theory. It will take weeks to sort these out.

Yeah, you're in trouble. It's not all roses and sunshine, kid.

Somehow, this just doesn't show the true horror of the whole mess.

Pregnancy Dreams

First, y'all, if you didn't read my four posts from yesterday, please do so! I'm kind of needy about the comments right now. More pregnancy irrationality... ummm, moving on.

Okay, it's my turn for the pregancy dreams.  I had a dream last night, that was unusual for me in the sense that I could remember some very tangible details. In my dream, I was lying in a tub next to my bed, and I had just delivered a baby all by myself! I'll spare you the gory details of my dream. But it was a boy, and I held him and said, "You know, you are going to break your sister's heart." Because he wasn't a girl, of course. He was a chubby bunny (not literally), and I could feel his head in my hands and remember his face, even after I woke up in the middle of the night. In my dream, I wanted to get up and take a shower with him, to get us cleaned up so we could go to the hospital - mom, baby, and placenta. After all, I didn't really mean to have a baby by myself, it just sort of happened. Oops! How goofy - dreams are not rational things. But I kind of wish it were real, so I could hold him.

Baby Flashback

I don't know, I just felt like looking at baby pics today. Just random stuff of Connor.

When my due date gets really close, somebody remind me to get a manicure or something.

Aawww..
This will be even more fun when the next one gets here. More joy to go around, and I'm not being sarcastic this time.

Ummm... put your own caption on this one.

False Alarm

This Saturday morning, I began to have lower back pains, and cramping across my lower belly. After several hours of this, it started to worry me, because of my miscarriage this summer. So, I called my Mom and my doc, and they recommended I get a live human being to see me. This meant a trip to the E.R. Oh, joy. I knew it was better safe than sorry, but part of me thought, "I just know that I'm going to get a $200+ bill (even after insurance) for a trip to the e.r., for no good reason." Oh, well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Better that than a worse scenario. After answering all the standard questions, I made it into a room, where they drew my blood, asked more questions, then put a catheter in me! Why? Well, the ultrasound tech wanted me to have a full bladder, to get the clearest picture possible of my uterus. I had already given them a urine sample, so they had to pump my bladder up with a saline solution. Probably overkill, but whatever. Blah. Uncomfortable, I can tell you. But, at least I got to see the baby, and to know that she(?) was doing just fine. Lots of kicking and moving. It was a relief. But, I just couldn't resist asking if the ultrasound tech could tell if it was a boy or girl. She said she doesn't usually do that in these cases. I quickly said, "Oh, okay!" and left it alone. I felt weirdly awkward, like I was afraid she would think I just showed up to the e.r. to find out the sex of the baby. Yeah, I've got a little pregnancy irrationality going, I know. After my miscarriage story, I think she took pity on me and took a peak at the baby's anatomy, but the cord was in the way, so no info there. By the end, three hours had passed since I first arrived, and the cramping had stopped. Anyway, I left the e.r. glad the baby was okay, but still feeling like a dork. Can't wait to get the bill.

P.S. I think I'm resigned to the whole c-section thing. But, of course, I reserve the right to change my opinion at any given time. I'm pregnant, you know.

First Time on the Ice

Dani and I had been talking about it for a while, but we finally took Connor out on the ice a few weekends ago, Jan. 11, and we had a great time! Dani and her friend Sam (girl), mostly skated by themselves, but she pitched in with Connor occasionally and helped him on the ice.

Yes, I am in a pic every now and then. I just had to have one with me and Connor our first time out on the ice together.

Connor had to be held up the whole way around, but he had a blast! We finally had to kick him off the ice when my lower back began to protest after 1-1/2 hours of propping him up. Then, he climbed the bleachers over and over and named the letters posted on the wall labeling all the bleacher sections, "A....B....C....!"

Bugly

Oh, so much to blog, so much to blog! Might be one of those days where I wind up with four or five posts. Who knows?

You know, you just can't have one kid, it takes at least two, maybe more, to have this kind of fun:
I was hanging out in my room downstairs this weekend, when it finally registered on my brain what the kids were saying upstairs. I heard an endless litany of these words being repeated over and over - "Butt ugly... Connor, say butt ugly...." and Connor would say, "bugly." Gil and Dani were laughing their heads off trying to teach their baby brother to say this endearing phrase. I thought, "Oh great, more corruption from the older heathens. Well, at least it's only 'bugly'." Well, they kept at it yesterday, and now Connor can say, "Butt ugly." Can't wait for that one to be repeated in sacrament meeting.

Childbirth in a Small Town

Man, I'm irritated. I'll spare you the long explanation I was given, but suffice it to say that our small town hospital won't allow the ob's to do VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) here. I'm really not looking forward to another cesarean because it was just so weird not being able to use my stomach muscles for about two weeks afterwards the last one. I felt like my stomach was hanging down to my toes, a very bizarre sensation. I probably went around, literally holding my guts in for a while. Maybe it won't be so bad this time, if I keep up my exercising. I don't know. I also have the option of finding a doctor in Utah, who delivers at a bigger hospital, but the logistics of driving back and forth to Utah during the last several months, let alone when I'm in labor, kind of puts a damper on that for me. Comments/suggestions are welcome.

It's A... Human!

Well, we won't know for another four weeks if it's a boy or girl, but here are the first pictures!


Yeah, it was pretty cool, and a big relief for me, especially after my miscarriage this summer. Now I can call it "Shmookie." I hadn't heard the heartbeat yet, because I was waiting until the new year for my first appointment, so all the expenses would be on this year's reimbursement account for our health plan. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw the first wiggles on the screen. Dani went with me this morning, and sat in the waiting room until it was time for the ultrasound. She was glad to see it, but I think it was a little bit of a let-down for her. After all, she's still got to wait four more weeks to find out if she's getting a baby sister or not. My next appointment is on Monday, Feb. 4th. So, here's hoping!

Pregnancy Insomnia and Fave Shows

Okay, as I've gotten older (am I in the Old Chicks Club now?), I sleep less and less soundly. I can be woken up so easily, and then it's super hard to get back to sleep. I am the biggest, crankiest, witch of the west when I get woken up too early. Ask my family, they have the great misfortune to have to deal with this side of my personality.

Pregnancy has made the insomnia worse. Sometimes, like right now, I sleep three or four hours, then my body wakes me up, and I cannot get back to sleep. My brain WILL NOT SHUT UP! I just lie there in bed, thinking of random stuff. This goes on for two to three hours before I can finally fall back asleep. I decided not to fight it right now, and instead just get up and do something. Not that I'm cleaning house or anything (cleaning, puh.) But checking the blogs seemed like something constructive to do.

Random topic: movies. Seen any good movies lately? One I rented recently caught my fancy - Stardust. I thought it would be pretty mediocre for a fairy tale, but it was really fun. I liked it so much I bought a copy. Zen took me to see I Am Legend, with Will Smith. It was part drama, part sci-fi, and part horror flick. Now, I am generally anti-horror films. The vast majority of them are just evil trash, especially the torture films. But I find the what-happens-when-civilization-falls-apart-because-of-a-virus flicks interesting. And Will Smith was awesome as usual. Most of the film is about him alone.

Oh, and can I say that Christmas Story is the best holiday comedy EVER? It's still funny, even after I've seen it dozens of times, and I have a low tolerance for repetition.

Okay, people, I know it's a big investment of time, but you have GOT to get on the Avatar bandwagon and watch this show from the beginning, if for no other reason than to watch the evolution of Zuko's character. He starts out as the Avatar's enemy, and slowly comes to understand his true good potential, with his Uncle Iroh leading the way. His part of the story is about change and redemption. Just get over the fact that it's an animated series, and is geared towards children. All the same, it's still a fantastic show, a LOT better than most of the junk on tv these days. It airs in over 100 countries. At my house, we're all dying of suspense, waiting for the rest of Season 3 to air. (Well, maybe not Zen, but he'll watch reruns with us.) They left us with a cliffhanger in The Day of Black Sun a month ago, and it's taking forever to air the next episode on Nickelodeon. Aaaarghhh! Read more about it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avatar_the_last_airbender. And do this one for a basic list of the episodes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avatar_episodes. Yeah, we have it all on disk, and watch it over and over. Even Connor has the opening sequence memorized: "Water, Earth, Fire, Air..." It's so cute!

Hhhmmm... I've been awake for a few hours now, I wonder if I can go back to sleep? I know from experience that I'll just get tired later if I don't sleep. Four hours just doesn't cut it in the long run. Hhhmmm... I think I'll go watch some Avatar episodes...

The Cat's Out of the Bag

I am ashamed. I have not blogged for weeks! And there's so much ground to cover! I tried to go back today and comment on everyone's blog for the past few weeks, so you can all feel the blogging love again from my neck of the woods , but if I missed something, let me know.

Anyway, I hope everyone's holidays were merry and bright. Here's our Family Holiday Pic again. Let me know if you want a hard copy mailed to you.
You guys guessed the secret pretty well. The bear Dani is holding represents my miscarriage from the summer, Baby Joseph. And the white ribbon on my wrist is for my current pregnancy.

Speaking of which, it's official! Everyone knows now. Dani is super-excited, and is crossing fingers and toes, and saying prayers that the baby will be healthy and will be a girl! She's going with me to my first ultrasound on Monday. Granted, it's too early to know if it's a boy or girl, but she's just totally into the baby experience.