Why Everyone Needs a Teenager

I love the lists. Here's a great one, which will probably show up, in some form, in more blogs down the road:

Why Everyone Needs a Teenager
(or a Drama-Queen Teenage-Wannabee)

1. Because you need help "keepin' it real." (i.e. "Wow, your butt is big!" "Mom you cannot wear that in public." "When are you going to get a new car, because this one sucks." But, son, it's paid for!)
2. You might get mugged if you keep very much cash in your wallet. Teenagers can help you with that, trust me. See #8
3. Because you can't possibly keep that car dent-free forever. It's just not done. You gotta break it in sometime.
4. Laughter keeps you sane. It's a defense mechanism. And you will get plenty of practice, or your head will explode.
5. You need to lose that fake nostalgia for childhood. Share your teenager's issues with self-esteem and identity (everybody hates me, I'm so ugly, etc.) and you will be glad, once again, that you are an adult now. Oh... well some of that carries into adulthood, but it's not as bad, right?
6. Heaven knows, there's just not enough whining in the universe. See #10 'Nuff said.
7. You have too much time on your hands. Get a teenager, or any child for that matter, and you too can fill your datebook or pda with endless errands to the mall, grocery store, movie theater, dentist, athletic event, etc.
8. You can do your patriotic duty by contributing more to the national economy. i.e. constant trips to the grocery store for ravenous appetites, to the mall for clothes, treats after the game, etc. See #2
9. You have too much hair. This way, you can slowly lose it from long-term exposure to stress, or spontaneously pull it out in mini-marathon sessions of eye-bugging stress. Same goes for graying hair.
10. Everyone needs to keep their sharp sense of sarcasm finely honed and ready to go at a moment's notice. "Excuse me while I roll my eyes right out of my head." "Son, thanks for keeping it extra fresh in here (two words: gaseous emissions.)" "Bored, you say? Go beat your head against the wall until you pass out. It will make us both happy." I've actually said these, and there's a million more where those came from. I'm a good parent, really!

Okay, I really do love Gil and Dani, and we have fun most of the time. See #1, 4, & 10. There are wonderful things about them, and maybe I will help them post a rebuttal list here. soon;) And I guess when it's not so fun having a teenager (or teenage wannabee), I can save it for my blog. Muahahahahaha!!!