Okay, it sounds like a maudlin title, but I'm pretty sure this is going somewhere positive. I was catching up on the family blogs today, and it really made me think of Gram, and what lessons she gave us that I'd like to carry into the rest of my life.
As you know, she was absolutely fantastic about coming to all our family gatherings. I look at her in relation to my hidin'-out type of personality, and to me, she was a very brave and courageous person. Her hearing was going out, conversation was probably more difficult because of the hearing issue and sometimes I wondered if the topic was boring or something, and though she was certainly very healthy for her age it had to be more difficult to get around as the years went by. But despite all that, she just kept on coming, and always showed up with a smile on her face and a kind word for everyone. I think of myself in this respect, and know that I've got to do better. Not hide out so much. Be more giving, make life more about other people, than about my own issues at the moment. Gram built a wonderful life one little step at a time. Maybe I can take baby steps and make something great in the end, too.
Just some questions and observations for thought:
-Did Gram ever get lonely and sad, even in the middle of all of us? Didn't matter, she still supported us.
-Did she ever get sick of exercising, and just want to chuck it some days? Man, I hope I even exercise half as much as she did the last thirty years of her life. I want to enjoy my older years, too.
-Did you ever hear her say an unkind word about anyone, or mope about anything? I can hold my tongue, too, but I think in comparison to her, I must be goin' to hell.
-Can you be in the pictures if you don't show up? Kind of self-explanatory. I think all the great-grandchildren have multiple pictures of themselves with Gram.
-Do you have any idea how many elderly women hang out in mu-mu's all day? I'm afraid that might be me not too many years distant. I hope I remember to dress stylishly like Gram, and take some interest in my appearance. I think I might be hanging on the edge of eternal frumpery as it is.
Okay, I'm not done, but I feel like posting this anyway. More thoughts to follow, I guess. So maybe check back over the next few days...
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thoughts From A Loner
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2 comments:
You are not a loner. Even though you live in another state, you probably make it to more family events than we do. (seriously) Gram was a great example. We were lucky to have her in our lives!
Thanks. I guess I think of myself as a loner, because I'm not too good at hanging on to long-distant friendships. It's a bad habit from growing up in the military, moving every few years and having to make new friends. For me, it seems like the old friends eventually fall by the wayside. I know it's my fault, because I'm not making the effort. I'm just too content on a daily basis taking care of my family, that I don't make a big effort to connect with other women, except for my family. Talking to my sister, my mom, and blogging with you guys fulfills my needs most of the time. I'm not deliberately anti-social, avoiding people or anything, I just don't try very hard.
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