Yes, I have issues. Not exactly news, but I'm just in a weird, stressed-out mood tonight, so I thought I better sit down and write a few words. Venting, I guess, or maybe just wandering. Nobody should listen to me, but I'm feeling selfish, so naturally I'm pressing on.
I dropped off the planet again in blogger world. Why? My last post explains it I think, but the problem is, I didn't loan-out/throw-away/burn my remaining Twilight books, therefore I read ALL FOUR of them back-to-back, and finished Breaking Dawn last night at 1am. (Not an impressive speed, but remember I do 50 hrs daycare + my four kids 24/7.) Not exactly a productive ten days, eh? I'm just that bad. Book reading for me is like alcohol, cigs, drugs, or good ice cream (cheese?), the only way not to partake is to just get it all out of the house, and not bring it back. But I've read them all now, so that particular drug is done. Now, I find myself tempted by another book series, Dies the Fire, by S.M. Stirling, a speculative fiction about what could happen if the world loses all its technology. Right up my alley. But I've resisted buying a copy, and I've mentally slapped myself many times to keep from sneaking off to the library. So far, so good.
Tuesday, I attended a book club meeting a lady in my ward holds in her home. There was a local author there, Diana Metz, and I found myself wishing that 1)I'd finished the book (having some college flashbacks), and that 2)I'd been able to go without dragging my two little ones with me (Zen is at Man Camp, Dani & Gil were at church activities). They were cute, and decently behaved, all things considered, but definitely a distraction to me and to others. I hope I get a chance to go without my kids when they do another of her books. I had the fleeting thought of writing my own stories, as I have so many times over the years, but I am so often dissatisfied with my own writing, I've never fleshed out a story. But then I thought, "I am a writer!! I write a blog!" For better or for worse, I am an author of sorts. I just don't get paid to do it.
Everybody knows people that make them feel inadequate, though it's not intended. Well, that's how I feel when I take a peek at Stephenie Meyer's website. This will sound pathetic and oddly arrogant, but it's like reading about an alter ego who did better than I did, and I feel both hopeful and like a loser at the same time.
Well, that was just cheerful.
In my defense, I was really productive today. No book reading for me. I did laundry and my bills. Stupid blankety bills!!
 | I hear the Twilight dvd is coming out Saturday, March 21st. So, who is going to host a chickfest video party while we dine on teenage romance? Remember, I don't do daycare anymore, as of 6pm Friday, Jan. 16th, so I'll be footlose and fancy free. Any volunteers? |
End Post 6, 2009
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