Random Friday Thoughts on Motherhood

My Mom wanted us to write a lovely list of things we think she did for us that helped us to become the adults we are today. Sue wrote a great list, very eloquent (I hate you, you write better than I do, it's not fair, but I still love you), but here's a more sarcastic, mostly light-hearted, list of things I think Moms have in common.

Things I gave up to become a Mom (whether I knew it or not):

1. Young, nubile body - Laugh if you want, especially considering the fact that I never had a great bod to begin with, but I at least had potential. Looking at my body in the mirror lately, about to have kid #4, I know there's not a monkey chance in h-e-double-hockeysticks it's ever coming back. And don't talk to me about my shallowness, mooning over my lost attractiveness, but any woman who claims to never have a twinge or two of nostalgia about her youthful body is a LIAR.
2. Personal Space - People, people, people, I think this has to be the greatest challenge of my motherhood, trying to relinquish my time and attention for my children. Kids dominate your mental space in a way that is just unfathomable unless you go through it yourself. I don't even think men understand this very well, because they get to leave home everyday and go be someone separate from their children. I even think this is still true for moms who work-for-pay outside their homes. It's that multi-tasking brain, where a part of your brain devoted to children and home, is never quite shut off.
3. Short-term and long-term memory - Do you realize how many things you have to forget in order to parent children decently? Kids probably wish parents would forget more than they do, but I think they have no idea how much has really been forgotten. A whole monkey-load of mind-numbing drudgery, daily irritations, and pointless arguments must be forgotten, to get on with the business of living and loving each other. I am frequently accused, by my daughter, of not being able to remember anything ("Mom, why can't you remember anything?"), and I think it's because it's such a habit.


Things I gained because I'm a Mom:
1. I'm kind of useful, by definition - You do so much work as a Mom, it's just unmeasurable the amount of work you do for your family like laundry done, meals cooked, dirty diapers changed, noses wiped, barf dealt with, toilets cleaned, arguments settled, groceries bought, shopping trips with kids made, birthday parties arranged, temper tantrums endured, bedtimes managed, fatigue muddled through, etc. No matter what stupid things a good Mom does, a child can never, never make up for the sacrifices a Mom makes just to see that they get to adulthood. The only thing left to do is to take that example and sacrifice yourself for your own children.
2. I matter to someone & I made a difference - I'm not going to leave this life with a whole bevy of close, personal friends or admirers, but I know I made a positive difference with my kids, no matter what my weaknesses are, and whether or not I get a whole lot of recognition from my children. Focusing on them is the right thing to do.
3. A better sense of humor - Well, there's no doubt my sense of sarcasm has increased. And I think I understand more of human life, and therefore I can laugh at more, and at myself better than when I was single.

That's all my brain could think of. Probably not a complete list. But it's 6pm on a Friday, and I'm done. Love you mom. Thanks for getting us through.