Holy Monkeys! He's Driving!

Well, since the fam reunion last weekend, two things have kept me out of the blogger world: one, I've had a bad cold and have had no motivation to do much of anything, and two, my laptop died! It's in the shop, and it will probably be Monday or Tuesday before I know what's wrong with it, and whether or not I've got to start saving my pennies for a new one. Which means I've had to duke it out, at least in theory, with four other people in the house for computer time (Zen, Gil, Dani, and Connor), and I just haven't had the energy to do it. So, I finally muscled my way in tonight, and I'll see what catching up I can manage to do.

Here's the "Holy Monkeys!!" moment: my teenage son has started driving. SAVE ME!!! We've been out a few times since yesterday, just going a mile or so around the neighborhood. It's probably a good thing my brain is a little out of it, and I feel buzzed from this cold, or I'd probably be more freaked out. I'll see if I can post some pics tomorrow.

Quitting a Job

Quit my clothing repair job yesterday. What?! Okay, I was sitting at my sewing machine Monday, working on replacing a zipper in this winter coat, and I swear, I thought I was going to have an aneurism from picking out all the stitches, three rows on each side of the zipper. And yes, I was using a seam ripper. It took me almost three hours, start to finish, to complete the project, and I thought, "This is stupid, this is soooo stupid." First of all, I hated doing the work in the first place. And for only eight bucks an hour? $90 to $100 in two weeks? Are you kidding me? Add that to the fact that I know most people do not want to be paying $20 to $24 for a replaced zipper, and you know the laundromat wants to be making money, too. I've under-reported my time on several projects, just because I didn't want to make the dry cleaner's pay too much for an item. Add my time going back and forth to the laundromat. And you know, I'd just had enough Monday. I need to get rid of this stuff in my craft room NOW, and try to set up some kind of recurring sales, and the sewing was just getting in my way. I could make as much with that time, if not much more, easily doing something else, that is more enjoyable.

Then I was trying to explain this to Zen on the phone last night, who was telling me I should have leveraged for more money. But, dude, I just couldn't get across my point, and he pretty much told me I'd done something stupid. I was not amused.

Drug Addict

Got bink?

I'd been looking for Emma's ladybug binky chain for what seems like weeks, and had even bought more binkies and made quickie binkey chains with ribbon/string and hefty diaper pins, and she just walks through the dining room tonight with it dangling from her mouth, totally casual. What the?!!!! She totally hid it in her special baby hidey place, wherever that is.

Anyway, I just clipped it on, with all the other binkies she was hauling around, switching from one to the other every few minutes. Makes me laugh.

Friends and Insecurities

Note: Seriously, people, no commenting from anyone is giving me a complex.

Just a little random babbling tonight, after thinking about talking to people at church.

It's funny how you can totally mesh with some people, talking is super-easy, and with others, it seems like you are always off-sync. It kind of makes me sad, because there are a few people at church that I'd really like to get to know better, but it's like there's this personality barrier that prevents any real friendship from developing. I say stuff to them, and I get this blank look a lot, followed by a generic response. It's kind of awkward for me, especially when I'm trying to be light and funny, or something. I'm probably just being a dork.

Zen has been trying to get me for years to invite people over for dinner, and I just never do anything about it. Maybe I should. It's kind of hard right now, because his work schedule is so nuts, I don't have a lot of advance notice of when he's going to be home for dinner. But maybe I can make a more determined effort.

I had this kind of thought-provoking exchange with my sister, Sue, last night, which I've mentioned on my health blog, and while feeling mildly jealous of her having fun with friends out in Minnesota, it kind of reminded me how I've often envied her ease with people. It's not something I would EVER change about her, and frankly, she's one of the comforts in my life, due in large part to her personality and our background together, but watching her with her friendships reminds me that I don't have any close friends. Part of it's because I'm lousy at keeping up with people. I need to try harder. Friends are one of the great joys of life. And I just want to connect with people more.

Okay, babbling done. I spent most of the night tweaking the layout for my Becky's Kitchen Creations blog. I'll start adding recipes this week, and I'll keep you posted.

Secret Blogs

Soooo, did anyone enjoy/hate the rant? Silence out there in Blogland makes me nervous. Katy, you got that I'm trying to agree with you, not yell at you, right? Katy? Hmmm....

Geez, so busy today. Read about it at my health blog post. Completely wore myself out.

What shall I write about tonight? Oh, I know! I must confess to a new, and weird compulsion, to start little blog offshoots. I think I have about a dozen now. Some of them are just blog names I wanted to reserve for the future, like "Good Is Good, Bad Is Bad." Go watch Thumb Wars, a spoof on Star Wars. It's a totally dorky film, but it's one of those family inside jokes we quote to each other all the time. I have no idea what I'd use that blog for, but it seemed funny at the time, so I reserved it. Maybe it could be my list of films I've seen, loved, hated, etc. But, who's got time for that?! Or, it could be a list of books I've read, loved, hated, etc. But that would be entirely too addicting. And besides, then I'd have to 'fess up to what I've been reading, so let's not go there, anyway.

Another one I made, is just a "dump all your crud in" kind of blog, the inner stuff you just feel like getting out somewhere, but you don't want anyone else to read it. Here's a quote from the only post I've made so far, "I've often thought about writing a journal, just for me, with things I don't want to share with other people, and I guess it amuses me to put it out on the net, sort of hiding in plain sight, and then not, but it will probably stay hidden, not because I know one darn thing about hiding info in cyberspace, but just because it wouldn't interest anyone but me. Definitely an analogy for me. I keep a lot of myself hidden from other people. There's got to be a place for my interior world." Why mention it here? Well, as my teenage son says, it's because I'm a " 'tard." I'll probably be tempted to delete this confession here on my general family blog.

And, I still haven't gotten around to Becky's Kitchen Creations, though I still really, really want to. Maybe tomorrow? Sigh...

And another one I want to make, is a Business Plan blog. I was talking on the phone to my sister tonight, and I was mentioning that when I am in Salt Lake in about two weeks, I want to stop in at the Quilted Bear, and look into getting a booth again, for cardmaking and mini scrapbook album kits. Boy, did she let me have it. Mmm, maybe it wasn't a total ream-out, but she did remind me how difficult, if not impossible, it is to make a go of handmade crafts. And I countered with, yes, I know the last time was kind of a failure, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn anything, and I think I can do a better job this time. An older, wiser, and stronger me, so to speak. Ala Colonel Sanders. And I think a written, thought-out business plan, with ongoing updates, might assist with that. Any ideas on a blog name? "My Craft Business Plan"? Something more witty, or cool?

P.S. 2:30am - Sorry, I just could NOT take the purple circles blog design one more second, but I want to do something cooler, but more subtle, brown and blue neutral tones. But, hey, it's 2:30 am, and I'm goint to bed. I'll be more creative tomorrow...

Personal Responsibility

Warning - here comes a pretty rabid rant about personal responsibility.

Two things have set me off today. First one was this morning, when I found a mess in the toilet in the rec center restroom. What is sooooo hard about flushing, people?!!! You don't have a right to do things that negatively impact other people, especially things about which you have some choice and control. Second, was Katy's post about healthy food choices and fast food companies. Hello America!!! YOU are resposible for what you put in your mouth for food, NOT anyone else!! Everyone should have a basic grasp on the concept of advertising in this country. Companies try to make food seem delicious and appealing, regardless of whether or not it has too much fat or has a lot of nutritionally empty calories. It's YOUR JOB to engage your brain and THINK about your food choices. The ingredients to food these days is well known. Hamburgers and fries have lots of unhealthy fat, and very little nutrients to offer. It's not rocket science, people. You should know better!! Get fat if you want to, but quit blaming it on other people!

Now, let's get scary and rant about government and politics. Government is for basic civilization - basic laws for the protection of its citizens from the willful harm of other people, be they foreign or domestic. Said government must have some kind of funds to run itself, thus we have taxes. There is also a basic necessity to regulate public interactions, from roads to food production. And it's nice if the goverment will chip in to educate the rising generation. But a government DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT OR RESPONSIBILITY TO ENSURE A UTOPIA!!! People will sometimes, or frequently, make choices that cause harm to other people. It seems like government these days is trying to encourage that behavior by saying, "It's okay to make poor choices, we'll clean up the mess!" A government cannot make everything "all better." People just have to suffer the consequences of their bad choices. Unfortunately, the innocent suffer, too, but we cannot make things better in the long run, if those who make the poor choices are buffered from the consequences of those choices. Buffering them, or eliminating the consequences altogether, will only make things worse.

A lack of personal responsibility is a huge part of what is wrong our country, and in the world, today. And government needs to let the individual person shoulder more of the responsibility for keeping this country strong. Be willing to govern yourself, or someone else is going to run your life for you, to your everlasting detriment.

Satisfaction

I've been doing this repairs-and-alterations thing for the dry cleaners over two weeks now. It was a little rough at the beginning, figuring out what to do with each piece, but like bike riding, the skills are coming back to me after a long hiatus. I've made a few mistakes, spending waaaaay too much time on some things, when I should have done something simple and quick, but overall, the satisfaction at having done a good job is immense.

Yesterday, I dropped off the latest batch of clothing, and sat in the back room of the dry cleaners with my sewing machine, working on a tricky piece of repair on a silk lingerie nightie. I usually do my sewing at home, but I needed to turn in the things that were due anyway, and wanted to consult with my manager, Johanna, on the nightie. The edges were fraying, and needed to be repaired with a serger, because a regular sewing machine will chew up the fragile edges, but I don't own one, and can't afford to invest in one right now. But I got this idea of using dissolvable interfacing to stabilize the edges while I zigzagged the edges. Wa-lah!! Worked like a charm. Then, when I was leaving, a woman came into the shop, needing a pair of business slacks hemmed up 9" (she was kind of short, and the pants had come with extra length so they could be hemmed for anyone), so I sat down with my machine, cut off the extra fabric, measured, folded the edges, and sewed a blind hem (you can barely see any stitches from the outside). 30 minutes, start to finish, and it looked professional. I handed them back to Johanna, and I was very satisfied with a job well done.

I can understand the appeal of getting yourself out of the house to go to work, where even a simple job can be satisfying if you do it well. Unlike raising children, which is complicated, messy, tedious, and very frustrating at times. Not to mention, terrifying when they wander off down the street while you're sitting in your craftroom. Close your eyes and put your hand over your heart. Sigh...